


Forever As I Am

by Dancing_Adrift



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Community: spn_cinema, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Law School, Legally Blonde, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:05:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8307886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift
Summary: Jensen has always wanted to attend Harvard Law School, and he's not about to let anything stand in the way of fulfilling that dream. When Jensen meets Jared, he learns that his dreams don't have to change in order to become even better than he'd ever imagined.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> J2 AU inspired by the movie Legally Blonde, written for the LJ SPN_Cinema challenge. (Disclaimer: some dialogue is taken directly from the movie (I think I assumed that was a given with this type of challenge, but it never hurts to be clear, right?), so credit where it's due for that!)
> 
> Edited 08/22/17 to say: A disclaimer on my Harvard knowledge: ~~I don't have any. I tried to research when I could, but I also took plenty of artistic liberties. For those of you who _do_ know Harvard, I beg your forgiveness. Barring that, at least your suspension of disbelief? Thank you!~~ I recently had the chance to visit Harvard (:D!!) and not only did I learn that it is nothing like I expected, but Legally Blonde wasn't even filmed there! So anyone familiar with both the University and Legally Blonde is already probably used to the incredible dissimilitude, and we can all move forward pretending that the Harvard of my story is simply modeled after the fantasy one that is shown in the movie. Sound good? Good! XD
> 
> This work has been beta'd (see end notes for more on that) but I really pushed it to the wire on this one, so any remaining errors are my own.
> 
> ***
> 
> Edit 11/17/17: Now with art! As a part of the 2017 round of spn_cinema, I created a drawing to accompany this fic. You can view my art masterpost [here](https://dancing-adrift.dreamwidth.org/16300.html), or just enjoy it at the end of the story. Thank you as always for reading and viewing, commenting and loving! :) ♥♥♥

“ _Law_ school?”

“It's a perfectly respectable place, daddy.” Thirteen-year-old Jensen pouted up at his father from where he was hanging onto the edge of the pool in his parents’ backyard. The hot California sun beat down on him, quickly drying the little droplets of water that fell from Jensen's spiky blonde hair onto his wildly freckled shoulders.

“But Jensen, law school is for people who are boring, and ugly, and serious. And you, sport, are none of those things.” His father flashed his million-dollar, movie-star smile placatingly down at him before taking a drink from the extra-dry martini their housekeeper had brought out a moment before. His mother lay reclined a few feet away from the pool's edge under the shade of a large umbrella, sipping daintily from her own fruity beverage. She leaned forward, pushing her sunglasses into the messy pile of bottle-blonde hair on top of her head, and addressed Jensen with an impatient sigh.

“Sweetheart, you’ve had the lead role in every school play since you were seven. With all your talent and your daddy's connections, you'll be a star in no time! Why would you want to throw that all away?”

Jensen searched his mom's sweet, patient but frowning face, then pivoted to study his dad's concerned, furrowed brow. With a quiet sigh, he pushed away from the ledge, kicking his feet to tread in the tepid water.

“Was just a thought, is all. Forget I mentioned it.” Taking a deep breath, Jensen let himself sink to the bottom of the pool, settling cross-legged on the cool cement. He tilted his head back and slowly released a line of bubbles from his nose, opening his eyes and ignoring the sting of the chlorine to watch them rise to the sunny, shimmering surface. He counted the seconds, hoping to break his current best time before he had to resurface for air. He knew he could do it – all it took was patience and practice… and stubbornness. His counselor at school – the one who had shown him the college brochures, had talked to him about what steps he could start taking, even as a high school freshman, to work towards becoming a lawyer if that's what he truly wanted – called it ‘perseverance’. And Jensen knew that, just the same as learning to hold his breath, he could make this happen, too. Whatever it took, he would find a way to convince his parents that going to college to be a lawyer was the _only_ future for him, and _then_ he'd use every trick in the book to persuade them to help him get there.

Forty-five seconds (and a new personal record) later, Jensen shot to the surface of the water, drawing in giant gulps of air. He had a brilliant smile on his face, and the beginnings of just as brilliant a plan forming in his mind.

_Watch out, Harvard, here I come._

 

* _Seven years later..._ *

 

Jensen pushed away from his desk and released a heavy sigh. Leaning back in his office chair, he scrubbed both hands roughly over his face before closing them into fists and pressing them into his over-tired eyes. The final essay for his first semester senior thesis class at UCLA was rapidly draining all his energy; he was down to the zero hour – the last possible day it could be turned in – and Jensen had been working on it for fourteen hours straight, ever since he’d woken to his alarm at six a.m. Thankfully, all his exams had ended the day prior, making this the last project he had to worry about before Christmas break started tomorrow.

Jensen let his head fall back onto the well-worn leather with another sigh, dropping his hands to the arm rests. He could feel where the material was wearing thin from years of use and abuse; the chair, along with many of the larger pieces of furniture in his room in the frat house, had been a gift from his parents as soon as he moved out of the dorms his sophomore year. The solid oak desk that housed his computer (a desktop pc custom-built by Jensen; just because he was going to be a lawyer someday didn’t mean he couldn’t also embrace his tech-y side, too) had suffered nearly as much wear as the chair. Jensen sat up straight again, studying the wide surface with a frown; were it not currently completely covered in research papers, depleted coffee cups, and other rubbish, he knew he’d see the once gleaming wood now marred by many scratches and scrapes and stains.

As he regarded the chaos in front of him, his lips curved into a smile when he glimpsed the few framed photographs proudly displayed on the top shelf behind the monitors. There was a small one of his family, of course, taken at his high school graduation – father, mother, and son, a neat little unit, all with impeccably styled hair and toothpaste-commercial smiles. Though the teeth in his family may have been unnaturally white, the expressions were of genuine happiness. Jensen knew his parents were proud of him. While they were probably the first parents in the history of the world to have wished their son would become an actor instead of a lawyer, they had always been his biggest supporters, and had been easily swayed to his ideas for his future.

The other two photographs were of him and his boyfriend of the past three years, Tom. They weren’t really the type of pictures one would usually frame and display so prominently, but 1) this was Jensen’s private bedroom and he could decorate however he damn well pleased, and 2), they always _always_ made Jensen smile, often to the point of laughing out loud. The first was from their freshman year when they had crashed Lambda Kappa Pi’s tighty-whitey contest. Rush-party drunk and high on being young and on their own for the first time in their lives, they’d stripped off all but their underwear and streaked through the entire frat row. Jensen’s best friend from forever, Danneel Harris, had been sober enough to snap a picture, and then she’d printed it and gifted it to them for their one-year anniversary. Tom had blushed profusely and handed the framed photo to Jensen who had grinned and immediately placed it on top of his desk.

The second photograph was more recent, taken towards the end of their junior year when they’d again gotten mostly naked in public – but this time for charity. Some girl from Delta Nu had designed a line of faux fur panties and put on a fashion show right before finals week, and, on a dare from none other than Danneel, both Jensen and Tom had signed up to be models. It had been a lot of fun, and – though Jensen was obviously biased – he and Tom looked damn fine. They’d both gotten athletic scholarships to UCLA for swimming, so with their broad shoulders and narrow waists, they looked like modern-day Tarzans in the barely-there animal print fabric.

The photographs were only a small representation of all the crazy shenanigans he and Tom had gotten into over the years. Aside from their ill-advised participation in a Ricky Martin video, Jensen had no regrets from their long-term relationship. Jensen had been ‘out’ to his family and everyone he knew pretty much since he first realized he liked boys as a teenager, and he couldn’t be happier to have found someone like Tom almost as soon as he started college. With graduation approaching fast and grad school – _law school_ – looming on the horizon, and their plans to attend Harvard together, Jensen was pretty sure that Tom was going to pop _the_ question any day now. Jensen had always been determined to become a lawyer, and he was so glad to have found someone – Tom – with whom he could share that dream and a future together.

A pile of papers on Jensen’s desk fluttered to the floor when his phone started vibrating underneath them, buzzing its way dangerously close to the edge. Jensen managed to snatch it up just in time. His lips tugged up into a smile when he saw the caller ID.

“Hey, gorgeous. I was just thinking about you,” he answered, pleased to be interrupted from his thoughts of Tom by the man himself.

“Hey, babe. Say, have you got plans for tomorrow night?”

Jensen’s eyes went starry, and his mind filled with dreams of tungsten rings and matching gray suits and happily-ever-after. He wrote down the name of the restaurant where Tom had made reservations for 7:00 the next evening, then said goodnight to his boyfriend and ended the call. He went back to his paper with a renewed determination, and delighted hope for his future.

 

***

 

Tom’s hand was warm where it rested at the small of Jensen’s back, and he steered him gently as they entered the restaurant. Crisp white linen surfaces were dimly lit with small groupings of pillar candles, creating an intimacy around each table. Jensen and Tom settled into the more secluded space the maitre’d had assigned them, and Tom ordered a bottle of champagne and two house salads to get them started.

“This is a really nice place,” Jensen said, glancing around at the other couples conversing quietly nearby, hearing the faint notes of classical music playing over discreet speakers, noticing the perfect posture of their waiter. “No offense, babe, but this is a lot nicer than our usual dates. What’s the occasion?”

“What, I can’t take my boyfriend someplace fancy to celebrate the end of the semester?” Tom retorted, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms with a huff, a slight frown on his face.

“No, that’s not what I meant to imply at all! I... I was just noticing.” Jensen reached for Tom, who sat up straight again and let Jensen take his hand. Jensen gave it a small squeeze. “It’s just really nice. Thank you.”

Tom relaxed a little with Jensen’s unspoken apology – though Jensen wasn’t really sure why he’d felt he’d done or said something wrong in the first place. But then Tom was smiling at him softly, and Jensen forgot his momentary hurt at the misunderstanding.

“Can’t believe we actually did it,” Jensen said, smiling brightly across the table at his boyfriend as their salads arrived and the waiter quietly poured the champagne. “Now it’s just Harvard applications over Christmas break, and we’re _set_ , babe.”

Jensen lifted his flute, the light from the candles reflecting off the delicate bubbles, their effervescence an echo of his internal bliss. Here he was, out with his gorgeous boyfriend at one of the best restaurants in town, celebrating the end of another successful semester – their second to last one before they moved on to the real deal, actual _law_ school, _Harvard_ – and he was as happy as he could ever remember being. It was the perfect moment, and Jensen meant to savor it.

“Here’s to us,” Jensen proposed, raising his glass high and stretching his arm towards Tom.

Tom leaned over the table and reached for his own drink, his long, tan fingers wrapping around the thin stem as he lifted it. Jensen held out his arm, waiting patiently for his boyfriend to clink their glasses together and complete the toast. Halfway there though, mid-air, Tom dropped his drink back to the table heavily, causing the shimmering liquid to slosh about and nearly spill over the flute’s edge. Tom fell back into his chair, shaking his head and lifting up his hands in a sign of surrender.

“I can’t… I can’t do this.” Tom pushed away from the table and dropped his elbows to its surface, resting his forehead in his upturned palms as he continued to shake his head.

Jensen inhaled sharply and set his own drink gently on the table. His mind started whirling with any and every possibility for Tom’s sudden change. Everything had been going so well, and now Tom seemed so distressed. That, of course, was all wrong; they were there to celebrate – right?

“What is it? What can’t you do?” Jensen tried to keep the panic welling up in his throat from sounding in his voice, but he couldn’t, not in the slightest. His eyes frantically scanned Tom’s hunched shoulders as he scoured his mind for any clues, any hint of what was happening, what was causing their dinner to turn into whatever unpleasant experience was currently unfolding.

“Seriously, Tom, talk to me. What’s going on?” Jensen gripped the tablecloth with both hands, wrinkling the fine linens with nervous sweat. After several excruciating moments, Tom finally, _finally_ lifted his head from his hands and met Jensen’s gaze.

“Babe, I am so, _so_ sorry.” And Tom certainly looked it, too, his deep blue eyes full of sorrow as he watched Jensen from across the table. This only served to increase Jensen’s rising panic.

“What? What in the world are you sorry for? Tom, you’re scaring me. What is going _on_?”

Tom took a deep breath and straightened his back. Jensen loosened his hands, smoothing out the abused fabric covering the table, and did the same, doing his best to steel himself, prepare for the worst.

“It’s just that, well…” Tom started, clearly unsure how to express himself. “We’ve had a lot of fun these past three years, right?”

Jensen nodded tensely, silently willing his boyfriend to just _get on with it._

“And I know we’re both planning on going to Harvard, and we’ve been talking a long time about what our future together could be like there.”

Jensen nodded again, confusion starting to creep in right alongside his anxious concern. All these things Tom was talking about were _good_ things – so what could possibly be wrong?

“Yes? And?” Jensen prodded, hoping to have answers sometime _before_ he went completely out of his mind.

“Well…” Tom hedged. Jensen snorted impatiently. This was so typical – Tom never was good at just saying what was on his mind; it usually took a bit – okay, a lot – of prodding on Jensen’s part, and it had been a constant source of contention between them.

“Just spit it out, babe. Taking all night isn’t going to make it any easier to say.”

Tom huffed out a breath and then settled back, slouching, into his chair, apparently resigned.

“Well, you know how you’ve never met my parents?”

“Yes. Go on.” Jensen was rapidly starting to see where this conversation might be heading, but he didn’t want to let himself believe it. Not when everything was finally _so_ perfect.

“Well, East Coast people are different, ya know? I come from a long line of senators, and my family expects a lot from me. They…” he paused again. He looked at Jensen, his eyes pleading. “They… they don’t know I’m gay.” He spit the last part out, and quickly continued.

“If I’m going to be a senator by the time I’m thirty, I can’t be _out_ in law school. Which means I can’t be _dating a guy_ . Which means I can’t be dating _you._ So… I’ve thought a lot about it, and… We need to break up.”

_Shit. No. Nonononono no no no._

Jensen sat and stared blankly at the man seated across the table from him, absolutely stunned. The dread that had started growing about halfway through the conversation settled like a dead weight in Jensen’s stomach and started pulling his heart down along with it.

“ _What_?” he half whispered. His boyfriend – no, just Tom now, apparently – just shrugged helplessly back at him.

“It’s not like I have a choice here, sweetheart,” Tom whined. That - that was enough to break Jensen’s utter shock, and he _glared_ at the man who’d only moments earlier still been the one he’d been hoping to _marry_.

“Don’t have a _choice_ ?” Jensen was quickly regaining his voice as the anger started to settle in. “You _always_ have a choice, Tom. Some choices are tougher than others, but you _always_ have a choice.” The whole situation was rapidly overwhelming Jensen, so he stood, pushing back his chair calmly over the fancy carpet. He reached for his still untouched drink.

“The thing you need to remember, _Tom_ ,” he continued, his hands shaking, but his gaze steady as he stared furiously, “is that there are some _people_ that you have to make those tough choices for. People that are _worth_ making those choices for. I’m sorry you don’t think I’m worth that.” Jensen slammed his eyes shut against the threat of tears, then threw back his head and gulped down his entire flute of champagne. Returning the glass to the table, he shot one more withering glance in Tom’s direction before turning on his heel and hurrying to exit the restaurant and escape his nightmare.

“Jensen, wait!” Tom cried out, fumbling to remove the napkin from his lap as he scrambled after Jensen. Jensen ignored him, not pausing for even a moment; he just pushed right past the affronted-looking maitre’d and out into the night.

The cool evening air was a sweet relief on Jensen’s overheated cheeks, soothing away the redness of his anger, his hurt, and his embarrassment. He rubbed at his eyes in frustration, really not in the mood to cry just now. It took a moment for him to orient himself once he reached the sidewalk – he hadn’t been paying very close attention when Tom drove them to the restaurant, but it was near enough to campus that Jensen was fairly certain he’d be able to find his way back. He’d just determined the correct direction, making it a block or so down the road, when he noticed a car pull up slowly beside him, distracting him out of his daze.

Jensen turned to look at the shiny blue convertible, but quickly directed his gaze forward again when he realized it was Tom’s vehicle with, of course, Tom behind the wheel.

“Babe, come on. Can’t we talk about this?” Tom pleaded from the driver’s seat.

Jensen kept his eyes set stubbornly in front of him.

“Nope. I think you made yourself pretty damn clear, Tom. And don’t call me ‘babe’, _babe_ ,” he returned, scathingly.

“Well, at least let me drive you home?”

Jensen paused for a moment to stare unbelievingly at his ex-boyfriend. Words failed him, so he just shook his head and continued on his former trajectory.

Tom made one more last-ditch effort to get Jensen to deal with him – “You’re gonna ruin your shoes!” – to which Jensen’s response was to stop walking altogether and glare just above Tom’s head where he had also stopped the car next to the curb.

“Babe?” Tom tentatively squeaked out. Jensen dropped his eyes and met Tom’s gaze dead-on.

“No. Fuck you, Tom. Take your car, and your ride home, and your _fucking_ future plans and your _closeted_ life – and _shove_ it all up your pansy ass.” When Tom still sat there, car idling, Jensen crossed his arms and increased his glare as much as he possibly could, saying nothing and just staring at Tom with one eyebrow raised high in expectation. Tom opened and closed his mouth a few times, but it only took a few moments of withstanding Jensen’s hard, unblinking gaze before he threw the car into gear and sped off into the night.

Jensen watched the taillights fade away, a sob catching in his throat when he finally relaxed his posture. Shoulders slumped and arms in loose fists at his sides, Jensen headed back in the direction of campus and, this time, he let the tears fall.


	2. Chapter 2

Tom had been right about _one_ thing – Jensen did, in fact, ruin his shoes.

“Fuckin’ ruined my feet, too, more importantly,” he grumbled to himself as he carried a mop bucket of hot water to the basin set in front of one of the chairs in his parents’ kitchen.

“Sorry hun, what was that?” Already settled into her own foot bath in a chair right next to his, Danneel looked up from her copy of Entertainment Weekly, a concerned expression on her face.

“Oh, nothin’,” Jensen replied. “Just wasting more time thinking about my pathetic douche of an ex-boyfriend.” He carefully poured the steaming water into the bowl, then angrily tossed the empty bucket across the kitchen floor and dropped himself heavily into his seat. His legs bowed wide around the foot bath and he slumped his shoulders, curling forward to rest his arms against his thighs, hands dangling loosely between his knees, as he paused for just a moment. Releasing a melancholy sigh, he reached down to start removing his socks.

“Ugh.” Danneel rolled her eyes. “Tom was a total jerk. Any asshole who’d let you go is an idiot. You’re lucky to be done with him.”

Jensen paused in the middle of rolling up his right pants leg, mildly surprised, glancing at his best friend with wide eyes.

“You thought Tom was a jerk?” He couldn’t quite keep the hurt from his voice. Obviously, given how everything had ended, Danneel was right, but it bothered him that she hadn’t said something _before_ the breakup utterly steamrolled him.

“Well, not _always_ ,” she defended. Danneel turned, dropping the magazine to her lap, and reached over to squeeze his bicep reassuringly. “I just meant… what he did to you, the reasons he gave for breaking up with you? _Total_ dick move. Therefore, total jerk. He had us all fooled, babe. I really thought he was your ‘one’ too, ya know? You’re not alone here; none of this is your fault.”

Jensen sighed, dejected, and fell sideways into Danneel, twisting to rest his forehead on her shoulder and closing his eyes.

“What would I do without you?” he mumbled against her arm. Danneel let loose a bright laugh, wrapping her arm around his waist and giving him a quick hug. She nudged him back upright and kissed his temple, nuzzling her nose against his skin for just a moment before settling in her own seat again.

“I’m not sure you could handle it,” she answered with a satisfied smirk as she picked up her magazine and continued casually leafing through it.

Jensen huffed out a reluctant laugh and gave a wry shake of his head before turning his attention back to his feet. He slowly lifted one and then the other, carefully submerging them in the still steaming water. He hissed involuntarily at the slight pain, not all of it due to the near-scalding temperature. The walk back to campus the night before had really done a number on his feet; they were red and swollen, and he had matching blisters on the outside edge of both his big toes.

Danneel scoffed at him, not looking up from behind the glossy pages of EW.

“You could have just _called_ me, you know.”

“Yeah, well.” Jensen paused as he tried relaxing against the back of his chair, willing his body to adjust to the heat and let it work its magic on his aching feet. “It was a Friday night, who knows what you might’ve been up to. Could’ve been at some end-of-term party for all I know.”

“Babe.” This time she turned away from the magazine, glancing over to pierce him with one of her patented ‘you’re an idiot’ looks. “Any party I go to, you _know_ about, usually because you’re right there with me. Hell, even if I’m just at home with a bottle of wine, you’d know that too. So, _no excuse._ ”

“Okay, fine. But I was upset. You can’t expect me to be thinking clearly when my boyfriend of _three fucking years_ breaks up with me out of the goddamn blue.” Jensen crossed his arms and slouched into a pout. Yeah, he was fucking angry at Tom alright, but it still hurt, too.

“Alright, fair enough,” Danneel conceded with a sympathetic sigh. “But, if this sort of thing _ever_ happens again – God forbid – you _call me_ , okay?”

Danneel’s hand landed reassuringly on Jensen’s thigh and she held his gaze, sincerity and love shining from her eyes. Jensen did his best to pull his lips into a small smile. He uncrossed his arms, the right one dropping loosely to his lap, his left reaching across to grab Danneel’s hand and lift it to his mouth. He pressed a soft kiss to the tips of her knuckles, his smile growing as he watched her face flush slightly at the unusual and admittedly cheesy action. He lingered for what he knew would be _just_ a second too long, and he chuckled quietly when she pulled her hand away, giving it a little shake and rolling her eyes. This time it was she who crossed her arms and sulked.

“ _Okay_?” she pressed, ever the stubborn best friend that Jensen loved. He smiled fully at her then and nodded happily.

“Absolutely, Dan. I promise.”

Danneel smirked contentedly at his words and relaxed again into her foot bath, leaning her head against the back of her seat and closing her eyes. Jensen mirrored her position and tried utilizing some techniques from the yoga class he’d taken for a semester freshmen year, attempting to just clear his mind of all thoughts. Of course, as soon as he’d achieved the faintest level of success, a question immediately burst into the emptied space. He sat up and opened his eyes, frowning down at the tiled floor.

“Danni,” he started, voice deep with dazed consternation, “I’m still going to Harvard.”

“Well, of course you are, sweetie,” Danneel responded matter-of-factly. “I know Tom probably still will too, and it’ll probably be a little awkward, but Harvard is your _dream_ . Why _wouldn’t_ you go?”

“I know, it’s just…” Jensen took a quick breath and straightened his spine. He continued. “Really, Danni. What _am_ I going to do without you?”

Jensen and Danneel had been practically inseparable since they were teenagers, when Danneel’s family had moved to Jensen’s neighborhood. They’d attended the same private school and Danneel had been one of the few friends who really stuck by Jensen after he’d come out in seventh grade. By the time they’d graduated high school, most of their classmates had come around, and Jensen being gay was no big deal at all, but Danneel remained his closest friend. It hadn’t even been discussed when they both applied to and accepted admission at UCLA. It had just seemed a matter of fact – of course they would go to the same school for their undergraduate studies, he in the pre-law program and she double majoring in business and theater. It was just now hitting Jensen that Harvard would mean a separation that they’d never experienced. Before, when he’d been expecting to have Tom by his side, it probably wouldn’t have even been a thing he’d have considered, but now…? Jensen was feeling a bit adrift, and a lot terrified of the unexpected changes to what had been the biggest dream of his adult life.

Danneel didn’t answer Jensen right away, instead leaning forward to grab a towel from the pile on the table at her side. Gingerly lifting her feet from the bath, she concentrated on drying them thoroughly, scrubbing at her ankles as she considered his question. When she was satisfied with her efforts, she gently pushed the tub a good distance away from her and laid the towel on the floor in its place. Toes wiggling and kneading in the thick terrycloth, she turned her attentions to the small row of colored polishes she had lined up beside the remaining clean towels. She tapped one already perfectly manicured fingertip against her unadorned lips and pondered the bottles intently for several long moments before finally making her selection, a bright fuchsia. Jensen rolled his eyes and did his best to suppress an impatient sigh when she slowly turned back and tucked one foot on the seat of the chair, staring as if the foot was of utmost importance to her, and still avoiding Jensen’s gaze.

“Danni? Pretty sure this isn’t the first time you’ve painted your toenails. Why the sudden hyper-focus?” His voice cracked a little with his worry, mind still stuck on the unanswered question. He hadn’t _meant_ it to be redundant, but he wasn’t really sure what he expected her to say to it, either.

Danneel shrugged one shoulder and grabbed the bottle of polish, shaking it vigorously as she met Jensen’s eyes with a suddenly determined look.

“Well. I was just thinking…” she began confidently, but then she trailed off in hesitation. She cocked her head and looked at Jensen – _really_ looked at him – and then a smile started to spread across her face.

“Uh oh. I know that look.” Jensen, who had leaned forward slightly when he’d been trying to direct her attention to him instead of her feet, sat straight up again, a new type of worry entering his mind. “What is it you’re scheming now?”

“It’s just… I’ve thought of just the _perfect_ thing, Jen.”

When she didn’t immediately continue, Jensen started counting his breaths, actively trying to avoid expressing his exasperation. It didn’t exactly work.

“Yes? And?” Panic began rising in his chest. “Danni, if you don’t tell me whatever crazy plan you’re cooking up _right now_ , I swear I will dump this entire tub of foot water over your head.”

“Ew! Jensen!” Danneel wrinkled her nose in disgust, but she couldn’t keep the grin from her face. “Okay, okay. What if… What if I came with you to Harvard?”

“What?” Jensen’s mind reeled. “You mean… like, on vacation, or…?”

“No, silly! Like, _with_ you. Not for school or anything - think I’ve had just about enough of that – but, I’m sure I’d figure something out. We could road-trip all our stuff out there together, find an apartment, be roomies. It’d be perfect!”

Jensen was dumbstruck.

“But… what will you _do_ ? You can’t _seriously_ be considering moving all the way across the country just to… just to keep me company?” Jensen stared at his best friend incredulously, certain she’d lost her mind. Danni had always been a bit of a free spirit, but this was big, even for her.

“Sure, why not?” Danneel shrugged again, the nail polish temporarily forgotten in in the loose cradle of the hand resting in her lap. “I could use a change of scenery. You know I only did the theater thing to keep my parents happy –  (Jensen did know this; Danneel’s parents had paid for her entire education, under that one stipulation) “–  and I don’t really have any plans after graduation. At least nothing that I need to be in L.A. for. I’m sure there’s _something_ I can find to do in Boston,” she laughed, totally care-free.

Jensen continued to stare, but he let the idea marinate for a bit. The more he thought about it, the more it absolutely appealed to him, though he couldn’t keep from feeling a bit guilty.

“You’re seriously serious about this?” he couldn’t help asking again. He knew Danneel was amazing, but this… this went above and beyond the normal role of a best friend. And yet, being the person she was, somehow Jensen wasn’t really all that surprised that she had made the suggestion. But he needed to be sure that she was doing it for _her_ , too, and not just out of some misguided attachment to him. “Like, you want to do this for reasons besides just continuing to hang out with me, right? Because there’s no way we wouldn’t stay in touch anyway, you know that.”

“Yes, of course I know that, doofus.” She pushed at his shoulder playfully, and her smile only widened. “And yeah. I can’t think of any reason why this isn’t just the perfect solution. It’ll be an adventure, Jen, just you and me. I’m sure I can get my parents to fund the trip out there, but then I’ll find a job, you’ll have your classes… We’ll split the rent, the chores… And we’ll see if the East Coast can handle our awesomeness. Whaddaya say?”

Jensen just gave her his biggest, brightest smile, then lunged forward to wrap her in a bone-crushing hug.

“I can’t fucking wait, Dan.” He didn’t draw out the embrace, but he held onto her shoulders when he pulled back, still grinning like a loon. “You’re the best, you know that, right?”

“Damn straight! Now get out of my way – these piggies ain’t gonna paint themselves!”

“You got it… roomie,” he responded, the weight of his breakup miraculously disappeared from his shoulders and his heart. Then Danneel finally painted her toes, Jensen soaked his feet until they were prunes, and they laughed and planned and dreamed until the wee morning hours.

 

* _Approximately eight months later..._ *

 

Jensen stepped off the bus, quickly moving out of the way of the other students filing out behind him. With the hiss of hydraulics and the clanking of gears, the bus pulled away from the curb outside of Harvard’s Student Center. Walking a few more feet so he was clear of the cloud of exhaust, Jensen paused, breathing in the sweet air of late summer and taking a moment to calm his nerves. Not that he had anything to be nervous about; it’s not like it was the first day of classes or anything, just orientation for new students.

This wasn’t even his first time on campus. He’d made a point to visit a couple times since he and Danni had moved to Cambridge at the beginning of the month, just to familiarize himself with the area. Thanks to a program set up through his fraternity back at UCLA, they’d been able to connect with a fellow alum, a recent Harvard grad, who had set it up so they could take over his lease when he moved out at the end of July. The two bedroom apartment was perfect for them, less than five miles from campus and only a couple blocks from the pub where Danni had almost immediately found a job tending bar.

Jensen smirked as he made his way across the wide green lawn towards a grouping of tables with a large banner overhead that read “WELCOME STUDENTS”. In typical Danneel fashion, his ever confident best friend had quickly found a solution to the question of her employment dilemma; after all, not just any job would suit both the vastly different worlds of L.A. and the East Coast. Before winter break of their senior year had even finished, she’d signed up for bartending classes and was serving drinks to college students regularly after her classes by spring break. Jensen had been kept busy studying for all his final classes, not to mention ensuring his acceptance to the law school of his dreams, all while doing his best to avoid his douchebag ex; he was amazed that Danneel had found time not only help him succeed at all of those things, but also to learn and hone her new skill while still managing to graduate with decent grades. The woman was a wonder, no doubt, and Jensen was so grateful to have her by his side as they started a new chapter of their lives.

With a deep breath, Jensen took the last few steps toward a table marked simply “REGISTRATION” and manned by a squinty-eyed, spiky-haired blonde dude who looked more suited to the West Coast than half of Jensen’s graduating class.

“Well hey there,” he greeted Jensen with a wink and a friendly smile, “welcome to Harvard!”

“Uh, hi,” Jensen stammered. “Thanks.” He tried returning the guy’s friendly smile, but it probably came off as more of a grimace, his earlier nerves having not quite dissipated yet.

“What’s your name, handsome?” the guy asked as he picked up a clipboard from the table, hand poised to rifle through the sheets.

Jensen blushed slightly at the man’s casual flirting; everything he’d ever heard from Tom about Harvard while they’d been dating had given him much different expectations of how the people would be here. This guy, still gazing at Jensen expectantly, his lips turned up in a bemused smirk, had already shattered those ideas with only two sentences.

“Jensen. Ackles. Jensen Ackles,” he spit out, blushing even more that something so simple as giving his name seemed to be a challenge. He took a deep breath and gave himself a little pep talk. _This is your dream, man. Don’t fuck it up._

“Ackles is the last name, yeah?” the guy asked, even as he scrolled down the first page, his tongue sticking out slightly as he concentrated on his list. “Ah, never mind, there you are! Ackles comma Jensen!” He made a little scribble on the page then set his clipboard aside with a clatter and reached towards a pile of large envelopes on the other side of the table. He grabbed one seemingly at random and held it out to Jensen.

“Class schedule, campus map – everything you need to orient yourself is in there, my man!”

Jensen took the packet with a small smile and a nod.

“Thanks, uh…” he paused, raising an eyebrow at the guy, who then smiled, full of charm, and stuck out his hand.

“Name’s Chad. Head of Student Activities, both official _and_ unofficial.” He shook Jensen’s hand and then spread his arms wide. “This is my domain,” he stated grandly. “You got any questions – where to find the bathrooms, when the next mixer is, best places for picking up chicks –  another wink “–  you come see me. I’m your man.”

Jensen let loose a laugh at that and started shaking his head.

“Well, can’t say I’ll be looking for _chicks_ , if you get my meaning, but it’s nice to meet you, Chad. Thanks.”

Chad’s grin only seemed to grow at Jensen’s thinly concealed admission.

“Hey, no worries man. My best bud’s on your team, so I know a place or two to meet the fellas, too. Like I said,” he tapped his knuckles on the table in front of him for emphasis, “I’m the man to know around here, trust me.”

“Alright, alright, I got’cha,” Jensen laughed, much more relaxed now in Chad’s laid-back presence. Then a thought occurred to him – one he wanted to kick himself for, but couldn’t stop voicing anyway.

“Hey, uh… You got a Tom Welling on that list? Has he checked in yet?” he asked, hating that he’d even thought to ask. Chad flipped through his pages to nearly the end of the stack, shaking his head when he found what he was looking for.

“Nope. Friend of yours?”

“No, not exactly,” Jensen replied. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Chad that he was just hoping to avoid his ex, but, well… it didn’t matter how much of a jerk Tom was –  his ex-boyfriend’s sexuality still wasn’t his secret to tell. “Thanks for checking, man.”

“No problem!” Chad dismissed the outlier and got back on topic. “Now, next thing you’re gonna wanna do is head back across the quad here and go meet some of your fellow first years.” He pointed across the lawn where small groups of people were sitting in the grass and talking quietly. “I know it probably sounds lame, man, but it kind of helps break the ice all around, ya know? Then after, there’s drinks and snacks and stuff, and some of the professors and T.A.s are around to chat with too, so stay as long as you like – until you feel sufficiently oriented.” Chad laughed at his own joke and reached his arm back across the table for Jensen to shake one more time. “Once again, Jensen Ackles – welcome to Harvard!”

Jensen saluted Chad with his orientation envelope and turned to head in the direction he’d indicated. He started to feel a little lost as he approached the sprawl of students, but then a smiling girl with long brown hair waved him over to her and her group.

“Hey! You can come join us – we were just about to start our introductions!” She patted the empty spot of grass next to her. Jensen nodded at the four other people already there as he set down his bag and lowered himself to the ground to sit cross-legged among them.

“I’ll start,” the bubbly brunette began. “I’m Genevieve, but my friends all call me Gen.”

Jensen listened as Gen told the group a little about herself – she was a third year and a T.A. who was also very involved with a few student groups on campus. She had warm eyes and expressive hands, and Jensen found himself liking her immediately. Once she had finished, they moved around their skewed circle, each new student giving themselves a brief introduction. When it was Jensen’s turn, he only blushed a little as he spoke about graduating from UCLA, how he enjoyed swimming and computer games, and how the highlight of his summer had been road-tripping cross country with his best friend. Gen and the other students only smiled with shared feeling when he admitted that attending Harvard had always been his dream. Much later, after a full afternoon of mingling and meeting all sorts of students and faculty alike, when he hopped on the bus to head home, he knew that he had finally found the place where he belonged.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jared loved the first day of fall classes. Sure, he’d been back on campus for the past two weeks already, helping his boss/professor with lesson planning and other preparations for the upcoming school year – his first as an employee and not as a student – but there was still something about the _official_ start of the semester that made everything seem fresh, new.

Maybe it was just his imagination (it probably was; he couldn’t help if he was a romantic at heart), but he swore there was something in the air, an energy, an almost tangible sense of… _hope._ He knew from several years of experience that the feeling wouldn’t last long; it never took much time before the first year students adjusted to their new reality, their youthful enthusiasm eventually bogged down by full course-loads and seemingly unbearable amounts of homework. Even the more optimistic of the returning students could only hold onto their zeal for so long before it faded right along with the green of the leaves as they changed colors and fell to the ground (a fairly accurate, if sobering, metaphor).

Even knowing how the environment on campus would invariably change just like the weather, Jared still held fast to the current excitement, letting himself enjoy it while it lasted. He took a deep breath of the fresh, pre-autumn air as he unfolded his giant body from his sporty little coupe, a silver BMW he’d discovered for sale on the side of the road during a visit that summer to his parents’ home in upstate New York. She wasn’t new, but she was pretty and she ran like a dream; it had been love at first sight, and Jared took her for long rides in the country whenever he could, just to hear her engine purr. She looked especially at home in her “Faculty Only” parking spot, but it’s entirely possible Jared was a bit biased on that. _Sure beats student parking_ , he remembered with a grimace at the thought of the past three years and the daily struggle that was finding a parking spot on campus.

Jared tapped his knuckles fondly over her hood as he headed towards the Administration Building, locking the car’s doors with a click of the remote over his shoulder. And so what if it made him feel a little bit badass; he was _faculty_ now, teacher’s assistant to Professor Beaver the three days a week that they had classes scheduled. Yeah, sure, he was kind of low man on the totem pole the other three days of the week (he worked most Saturdays) when he played the role of junior lawyer to his old teacher’s alter-ego, Jim Beaver, Attorney at Law, but it still felt pretty awesome to have made it to the other side of law school, and he took pride in that. And maybe he felt a little smug about it sometimes too, but he tried not to let it get to his head.

Hefting the strap of his briefcase higher up his arm, Jared scaled the old brownstone stairs, two steps at a time. With a broad smile that made his dimples pop, he swung open the glass door, holding it ajar for a small batch of students who rushed past him with ducked heads, slightly flushed cheeks, and muttered thanks. He shook his head at his own unrestrained… _giddiness_ as he followed the group inside. He couldn’t help it, not really; Jared had learned to embrace the fleeting first-day feeling, tucking away that hope, the promise for the future, and save it for the occasions when being a lawyer just got to be too much.

Professor Beaver’s classes wouldn’t start until later in the morning, so Jared had the first period free for prep. He was skillfully weaving his way through the throng of students, intent on snagging a cup of coffee and spending the next hour or so making copies of syllabi in the staff lounge, when a sight caught his eye that stopped him right in his tracks.

The next moment nearly had him falling flat on his face though when a girl who’d been following him too closely (apparently) barrelled right into him. He staggered forward a step, but he regained his balance readily and immediately turned to make sure the young woman hadn’t suffered any harm from their encounter. He held her carefully by her shoulders as he helped her back upright.

“Whoa, sorry about the sudden stop there. Are you okay?”

She tugged at the straps of her backpack and nodded, avoiding Jared’s eyes, her face beet-red all the way to the matching roots of her hair. Jared gave a gentle squeeze of her arms before he let go and took a careful step back. He looked down at her, giving his friendliest smile.

“Just be careful now, alright? Never know when some idiot’s gonna stop moving unexpectedly right in front of you,” he teased, bending slightly to catch her attention. She shyly met his gaze and nodded again, a small twist of her lips and a sparkle in her eyes betraying her amusement. Jared grinned even more broadly, readjusted his own bag, and gave her a quick wink.

“Okay. You have a great day of classes, now. And good luck!” With a cheeky little salute, he spun on his heel away from her, back in the direction he’d been heading initially. He moved at once to the side of the hall, away from the continuing rush of students, and he sought the vision that had so stunned him and halted his usually determined stride.

Even closer now thanks to his little mishap, he could clearly see that his distraction was indeed a _vision_ . Intent on the bulletin board in front of him and completely unaware of the chaos around him, there stood the _most_ beautiful man Jared had ever seen. The man – pretty clearly a student, and a lost one at that – had both hands braced against the wall as he leaned forward, squinting behind wire-framed glasses at the papers pinned to the board, his full lips pursed and his forehead wrinkled in the cutest frown of confusion.

Jared took a moment to focus on catching his breath, and to covertly observe the beauty before him. A delicious smattering of freckles dusted the most adorable nose, and there was evidence of endearing crinkles at the corners of the man’s eyes. His hair looked soft, but still run-through with some sort of product, though whether it was intentionally styled or just sleep-ruffled, Jared couldn’t quite tell. Either way, it was a good look on the guy. For all his immediately endearing features, there was a contradiction found in the strong line of his jaw, the subtle cleft in his chin, the barest hint of stubble. The man’s face alone was truly stunning.

Jared let his gaze travel downwards, following the tempting pillar of his neck to the open vee of his lilac henley. He’d have to have been blind to not appreciate the lines of hard muscle beneath the textured fabric, the broad shoulders and solid-looking chest. The man had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, revealing toned arms covered in fine hair and still more freckles.

Jared’s eyes roamed even further down. Even the man’s back was gorgeous, gracefully sloping down to the curve of his ass. And god, what a perfect ass it was, not at all disguised by his dark jeans, artfully distressed and clinging in _all_ the right places, and Jared’s fingers itched with the desire to feel those muscles flex beneath his palms as he spread his hands wide...

 _Okay!_ Jared mentally snapped himself out of his trance. He was a _professional_ now. He shouldn’t be staring at students, mentally undressing them as though he were a hormonal teenager, no matter _how_ attractive they were. Shaking his head at himself and gathering his wits about him, he straightened to his full height and confidently closed the distance between him and the still lost looking student.

“Hi there.” Jared leaned one shoulder against the wall and ducked his head, sucking in a shallow breath as the guy looked up at him, pinning him in the gaze of the most gorgeous green eyes. _Huh. Didn’t notice those. Wow. Ugh, focus, Jared, focus!_ The frown on Green Eyes’ face hadn’t diminished with Jared’s awkward interruption, so he plowed forward.

“Uh, hi,” he repeated himself, and awkwardly stuck out his hand. “I’m Jared. Uh, Jared Padalecki. I’m Professor Beaver’s T.A.” Jared’s knees went a little weak when Green Eyes shook his offered hand, but he somehow managed to keep his composure. “I couldn’t help noticing that you look a little lost. Something I can help you with?”

“Ugh, yes, _thank_ you,” Green Eyes replied. (Jared tried not to be bitter that he hadn’t responded with his name, but the look of relief that passed over Green Eyes’ face and the hesitant smile he gave Jared _nearly_ made up for it.) Green Eyes continued then, gesturing vaguely at the map on the bulletin board in front of them.

“I thought I was pretty well set, but now I _cannot_ find the room for my first class. Uh, _Civil Procedure 2_ ?” He checked the wrinkled schedule in his hand. “It says it’s supposed to be in Lecture Hall 203, but I passed 202 and 204 _twice_ , and I’ve been staring at this damn map forever and I _still_ can’t find it!”

The frown returned in force, marring Green Eyes’ beautiful face, and Jared wanted nothing more than to smooth away every unhappy wrinkle. Thankfully, Jared had experienced this very dilemma his own first year, and it was a bit of an ego boost knowing he could actually help, be the knight in shining armor for his hapless prince.

“Ugh, they really need to start adding a footnote to the schedules or something. I ran into the same thing my first year too, man, everyone does.”

Green Eyes glanced around the hall, and the gradually thinning crowd. He raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Nobody else seems to be having problems,” he grumbled petulantly. Jared, sensitive to the poor guy’s feelings, tried hard not to laugh _too_ obviously… but he was just so damn cute!

“Nah man, really, I promise,” Jared assured him. He steered Green Eyes’ attention back to the bulletin board with a gentle tug on his shoulder. Pointing with his other hand, he indicated a section on the map of a room one hallway over from their current position. “Whenever they numbered the rooms, they decided it was a good idea to put even numbers in one hall and odd numbers in the other. The entrance is just on the other side of where we are now.”

Green Eyes’ mouth dropped open as he glared at the map.

“Seriously? Who the hell does that?”

Jared couldn’t refrain from letting loose a hearty chuckle that time.

“I don’t know, man. Confuses the hell outta me, too. Guess you can’t really accuse ‘em of having any sort of common sense though, right?”

“Yeah, definitely not,” Green Eyes huffed, before turning to give Jared a wry smile. “It’s good to know the system though.” He shook his head in disbelief and held out his hand again, which Jared gladly grasped immediately. “Thanks for the save, man.”

“Hey, no problem.” Jared gave Green Eyes’ hand a final squeeze before letting go. He mustered up a bit more of that big-man-on-campus confidence and asked, “Say, I was just about to go snag some coffee from the staff lounge. Best on campus, I swear. You wanna come grab a cup with me?”

“God that sounds amazing. I didn’t have time to grab coffee this morning,” he admitted before shaking his head sadly. “But I can’t. I really wish I could, man, but I’m gonna be late as it is.” To the guy’s credit, he did at least sound genuinely disappointed, and Jared took comfort in that even as he did his best to suppress the sting of rejection.

“Oh, of course! Yeah, you wanna make sure you get a good seat,” Jared said, already starting in the direction of the faculty rooms again, turning as he passed Green Eyes to walk backwards so he could smile at him once more. “Maybe I’ll run into you again sometime.”

“Yeah, that’d be great! Thanks again for all your help, Jared. I’m really glad I met you.” Green Eyes blushed slightly as he said Jared’s name, ducking to hide it as he grabbed his backpack off the floor. It was just enough to make Jared feel there was hope after all, and he grew brave. Just as the guy turned to head in the opposite direction, Jared called out one last time.

“Hey, Green Eyes!” Jared’s blush matched the other man’s now, but he didn’t care, since his outburst had worked to get the guy’s attention, along with another raised eyebrow and slight smirk. “What’s your name?”

Green Eyes smiled brightly but silently at him and turned to head back down the hall. But just before he rounded the corner into the proper hallway to reach his class, he shouted over his shoulder.

“It’s Jensen!”

Jared grinned so wide it almost hurt his face.

“I’ll see you around then, Jensen!” he hollered back, and he really didn’t care what the few remaining students in the hall thought of him. He hummed happily with an extra bounce to his steps as he refocused on his plans for the morning; as far as he was concerned, running into Jensen had just been the perfect start to a perfect day.

 

***

 

“Jared!”

Jared raised his head and searched for the person belonging to the strangely familiar yet unplaceable voice calling out his name. The reddit article he’d been reading was promptly forgotten when he caught sight of a head of short, mussed/styled blonde hair and an unforgettable pair of sparkling green eyes.

“Jensen! Hi!” His smile was immediate and matched the one spread across Jensen’s face - just as breath-taking as he remembered from that morning - as Jensen bounded over to where Jared was leaning against his car. Jared was waiting for Chad - they had plans for end-of-first-day celebratory beer and wings - but Chad could wait for _him_ if it meant Jared got to spend some more time with Jensen.

Jared’s grin held as Jensen approached, and it didn’t seem to want to go anywhere, especially not when Jensen propped himself against the Subaru Outback parked next to Jared. Jared tucked his phone into his pants pocket and crossed his arms over his chest, pushing his shoulders further into the sun-warmed metal of his car.

“Didn’t expect I’d be seeing you again quite so soon. Must be my lucky day. How were your classes?” he asked, only a little surprised to find that he was genuinely curious to know how Jensen’s first day had been.

Jensen mimicked Jared’s pose, putting his tanned forearms on delicious display. Jared happily filed the image away and then forced himself to meet Jensen’s eyes, which, really, was no hardship at all. It was a little bit of mood-dimmer though to see the way Jensen’s mouth had turned into a frown and his brow furrowed.

“Uh, they were okay I guess,” he said, shrugging and averting his gaze.

“Did something happen?” Jared asked. “You didn’t get lost again did you?” He chuckled lightly as he teased, but Jensen’s frown only increased and he sobered immediately. Really though, if something had happened… Jared felt a sudden wave of anger, and the realization that he wanted to protect this beautiful man from any unhappiness hit him like a punch to the gut.

“No, it’s just… Actually, I’d really rather not talk about it right now, okay?” Jensen lifted his head to meet Jared’s gaze again. His face was slightly flushed, but his eyes were quiety pleading, and Jared found himself nodding without question.

“Sure man, no problem. But, if there’s anything I can do, I’d be happy to help. Just… so you know.” He gave Jensen a small, hopefully reassuring smile and was rewarded with a tiny one in return, just the barest wink of a dimple in one of Jensen’s adorably freckled and still pink cheeks. Jensen shuffled a little and uncrossed his arms to tuck them into the front pockets of his jeans instead.

“Thanks.” They stood in silence for a few moments. It wasn’t entirely uncomfortable; Jared was happy enough to keep sneaking glances at Jensen, doing his best to not stare for too long. He just couldn’t get over how gorgeous he was, and he only got more attractive with the more time Jared got to spend with him. It was a little daunting, if he was being perfectly honest. But it was very reassuring to him that Jensen, too, seemed perfectly content to remain in his presence, and Jared clung to that fact, for whatever it was worth.

“So,” Jensen started, his voice a little rough. He cleared his throat. “This your car?” He lifted his chin to indicate the BMW that Jared was still leaning against.

“Yeah, sure is!” Jared pushed away from his baby, eager to show her off. He turned so he and Jensen were both looking upon her sleek lines and shiny silver finish. “She’s a beauty, isn’t she?”

“Mmmhm,” Jensen murmured his agreement, his eyes roving from one end of her body to the other. He took a step closer, one hand reaching out, but he paused, arm mid air, and turned his head to look at Jared.

“May I?” he asked.

Jared felt like he would give him anything he wanted, were it in his power to do so.

“Of course!” He nodded his permission, causing his bangs to fall into his eyes. He shook his head to get the hair out of his face, but he relaxed his body, leaning against the neighboring Subaru, staying back and implicitly trusting Jensen to be careful.

Jensen ran one wide palm reverently over the hood of the car, and Jared shivered a little watching the movement, as though it were over his own skin instead of the gleaming metal. Jensen brought his other hand up to the handle and, with another nod of assurance from Jared, he quietly opened the driver’s door. He had just bent forward to get a good look at the black leather seats and the streamlined dash - and giving Jared a _very_ nice view of his ass again - when something else further away caught his attention and he straightened suddenly, an indescribable glint in his eye.

Jared tensed instinctively; whatever that look on Jensen’s face was, it wasn’t a good one.

“What is it, Jensen? Is something wrong?”

Jensen turned to him then, his hands both clutching the car door like a lifeline, and his eyes looked a little unfocused, like maybe he wasn’t really seeing Jared standing two feet in front of him.

“Jensen?”

Jensen gave a little shake of his head, looking quickly back towards the building he’d exited earlier, and his face clouded over. When he returned his gaze to Jared though, his vision had cleared, and a few emotions were readable there now too - anger, and hurt, and maybe even a little sadness. Something had upset him, and Jared was immediately on the defensive. He surveyed the area, trying to discern what might have caused the change in Jensen’s demeanor, but he only saw a handful of students milling about. There was a dark-haired couple making out rather obliviously, but there wasn’t anything unusual about that on a college campus. Jared turned back to Jensen, concerned, just in time to see him turning to leave.

“Sorry Jared, but I… I gotta go. Thanks for everything man. I’ll see ya around.” And just like that he was off, headed in the direction of the bus stop.

“Okay, yeah, see ya.” Jared watched him go, still wondering what had just happened and too distracted to fully appreciate the tempting view of Jensen’s slightly bowed legs. Jared sighed and just hoped fervently he’d have another chance encounter with him soon. And next time, he resolved, he’d try asking him out for coffee again, or at least figure a way to get his number.

Lost in his thoughts, Jared just about jumped out of his skin when a hand landed heavily on his shoulder.

“Dude! Not even one day and you’ve already landed yourself a first year! Not bad my man, not bad at all!”

Jared rolled his eyes and spun around, playfully shoving Chad away from him.

“I didn’t _land_ anyone. We were just talkin’, man.”

“Come on - you’re telling me you wouldn’t tap that?”

Jared just raised one eyebrow in annoyance at his friend.

“Dude - _I’d_ tap that.” Chad crossed his arms and gave Jared his - disturbingly if accurately dubbed - ‘mom’ look. Then his whole face lit up, and he headed for the passenger side of the car, sliding his hand across the hood grinning broadly at Jared the entire way. “Besides, I happen to have it on good authority that _that_ guy? Totally plays for your team.” He laughed triumphantly as Jared’s jaw dropped.

Jared scrambled into his seat, fumbling with the keys and sneaking incredulous glances at Chad. Chad buckled in and just looked smug, the blonde bastard.

“I’m telling you, my man. That ass is free for the tapping, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh my GOD, Chad. Just shut up.” Jared turned over the engine and switched into reverse, moving his hand from the stick to slap Chad hard across the chest before wrapping it around the back of Chad’s headrest as he turned to look behind them. Chad just wheezed through his laughter as Jared pulled out of the parking spot, and Jared couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

Because – rare occasion that it was – yeah, he kind of had to agree with Chad. Next time he ran into Jensen, he’d make sure he secured something more than just a cut-short conversation; he definitely wanted more.

 

***

 

 _God-fucking-dammit._ Jensen cursed viciously but silently when he heard the disappointment in Jared’s voice as he walked away, but he didn’t pause or look back. He couldn’t bear the thought of catching another glimpse of _Tom -fucking- Welling_ sucking on his _girlfriend’s_ face. His _girl_ friend. As if it wasn’t enough that he’d just spent the entire day sharing space with the douche – he and Tom had the _exact_ same class schedule on Mondays, apparently –  now he had to witness _that_? Jensen was beyond irate. But seeing them together like that… Well, it brought back all the hurt and anger Jensen had felt last December that night Tom had broken up with him.

Jensen’s eyes watered and he blinked back the tears aggressively. _No._ He’d already spent too much time crying over Tom, and the asshole didn’t deserve it anyway. Glancing down at his watch, Jensen discovered that he’d just missed the most recent bus. _Perfect._ Not willing to stay on campus any longer than necessary, and eager to put as much distance between him and Tom as soon as possible, he quickly crossed the street and started walking towards his apartment rather than waiting at the bus stop.

Jensen was very conscious of the promise he’d made to Danneel after the last time he’d foolishly walked home while upset. He did consider calling her, but he knew that, at this time of day, she’d be right in the middle of getting ready for work, so he decided against it. Instead, he just traveled along the bus route, figuring that soon enough he’d be next to one of the stops around the same time as the bus, and he could just hop on and catch a ride home from there.

Actually, now that he was thinking of Danni… He felt a little guilty about it, but in the few weeks that they’d been in Cambridge, Jensen had yet to visit Danneel at her new job. At first he’d just been busy getting settled into their new apartment and taking care of the few things that come with moving cross-country; after that, he’d gotten so absorbed in the assigned reading for his upcoming classes, and worrying about making sure he had everything arranged for starting school, that he’d just lost track of time and hadn’t made the effort to get over there.

Now, though –  now seemed like an excellent time to finally stop by Danni’s work. Jensen could use a drink or two, and the company. He already had assignments to work on, and he had his laptop with him, so it’s not like he couldn’t be productive there if he needed to. But he could use a little time to de-stress first, and what better place to do that than a bar?

Just then the bus came rumbling up behind him, and the sign for the next stop was only a few yards in front of him. Jensen jogged to the metal post, reaching it just in time. He hopped on and swiped his student ID, then settled into a seat towards the front, already feeling better about the direction his day was heading.

During the short trip, Jensen closed his eyes and did his best to think about anything other than his upsetting encounters with his ex. Tom’s cutting blue eyes faded as Jensen quieted his mind, but they were soon replaced by another, far more beautiful set, multi-colored and shining with kindness, intelligence, and humor.

Jensen sighed happily as he thought about Jared. Meeting him in the morning and then running into him that afternoon had been the two bright spots in an otherwise trying day. And not only had the guy been incredibly helpful and nice, but he was _gorgeous_ . Of course, thinking about Jared – his tall, tall, well-muscled body hiding beneath his khakis and a sweater the color of a fine merlot, his shoulder-length, chestnut hair that framed his angular face, and the dimples that dug deep into his cheeks when he flashed his slightly crooked smile – it only served to bring Jensen’s thoughts full circle and back to how seeing Tom had completely disrupted what had been shaping up to be a very promising interaction. Jared had certainly seemed friendly enough, and Jensen had thought he’d maybe sensed a bit of interest that could have gone beyond friendship. After all, he _had_ invited Jensen to coffee almost immediately after meeting him, and how often did that happen with someone you _weren’t_ interested in?

Jensen sighed again, back to being grumpy and upset, unfortunately, just as the bus halted in front of The Rough Draught. He swung out of his seat, thanking the driver as he exited and stepped out in front of the tiny little pub. There wasn’t anything overly flashy about its exterior, just a nondescript brown building with inset lights shining from under the overhang. There were a few large windows displaying neon beer signs and a simple hang-board sign over the door reading ‘The Rough Draught, EST. 1967’. A poster tacked to the heavy wooden door at the front entrance declared there was ‘LIVE MUSIC EVERY NIGHT’, with open mic nights on Wednesdays.

Though it was still very much light outside (it was fairly early yet, only around 4:30), the inside of the bar was much dimmer, as most bars seemed to be. The large windows were made of darkened glass that blocked much of the sunlight, but lights hanging over several booths and the pool table, as well as the ones that lit the bar itself, provided sufficient illumination for the room. The bar wasn’t very busy yet, only a handful of people sitting at the bar counter, which was where Jensen headed right away, choosing a stool near the end. His spot was right by a door that presumably led to the kitchen and also the wall around which the restrooms were located, as was indicated by another bright neon sign.

A quick search under the countertop revealed hooks screwed every couple feet into the side of the bar, and Jensen hung his heavy backpack on one near him. Settling into his stool, he finally took a chance to be still and just rest. He rested his elbows on the bar’s surface and cradled his chin on top of his fisted hands as he searched the back wall of the bar, hoping to find what sort of drink specials they might have, and what beer they had on tap. He let out a heavy sigh as he sat there, drawing the attention of the bartender who made his way over to him.

“Rough day?” the man asked as he swung a white towel over his shoulder and set both hands palm down on top of the gleaming counter. Jensen looked up glumly, in the mood to wallow a bit in his poor mood, but he sat up straighter when he caught sight of the man before him. Such incredibly bright blue irises… For a moment, Jensen was just lost in the intensity of the man’s eyes, they were truly that arresting. Then he shook himself out of it, quickly assessing the rest of the man – past-the-shoulder, layered locks of dark hair; just enough facial hair to qualify as a goatee; gray button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Jensen met the man’s eyes with a slightly cocked head as potential recognition set in.

“I’ve certainly had better,” he admitted. “Say, you’re not Chris, are you?” While he may not have had a chance to visit the pub himself, he’d heard plenty of tales over a shared bottle of wine with Danneel about her long-haired, blue-eyed boss/co-worker. Knowing Danni like he did, Jensen suspected she had a bit of a crush, and he couldn’t say he could blame her. The bartender was a damn fine looking guy.

The man considered him even more intently than before, looking him up and down.

“Yeah, that’s me alright. Do I know you?”

“Oh, no, sorry. Uh, I’m Jensen.” He held his hand out to Chris, who grabbed it, hesitant but firm. “I, uh, I’m Danneel’s roommate?”

“Oh! Alright, sure!” Chris’ grip tightened as he shook Jensen’s hand. “Yeah, I see it now. You just started at Harvard, right?”

“Yup. First day today,” Jensen told him, settling back into his chair but keeping his forearms resting on the bar.

“Oof. No wonder you said you’ve had better days,” Chris laughed. “Tell ya what man. As friend of a friend, and in honor of the hell that is law school that awaits you, first drink’s on the house.”

Jensen cracked up at that; he knew he was all sorts of crazy to willingly enter law school - just the beginning of what promised to be a grueling career - but the way Chris so bluntly described it, making it seem so simple… Jensen couldn’t help but laugh. That dash of Chris’ dry humor helped alleviate a lot of his stress, and Jensen felt the tension drain from his body with no small amount of relief.

“Well, I certainly won’t say no to that offer,” he admitted. “What’ve you got that’s good?”

“Anything you want, man; it’s _all_ good. Danni should be here pretty shortly if you wanted to do a shot with her or somethin’. Know you two are pretty close; you’re pretty much the only person she ever talks about.”

Jensen blushed a little at that. Not that it surprised him in the slightest… but to hear this near stranger state it so plainly, well, it was a sort of bewildering. He brought a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck, a tad flustered.

“Uh, yeah. We’ve been best friends for a really long time. How soon does her shift start? Maybe I could just have a beer while I wait?”

“Sure thing. She starts at five, but she’ll be here in about fifteen minutes. She’s been doing really well here, we’re glad to have here around.”

“Good! Glad to hear it. She’s had nothing but good things to say about this place. I still don’t know how I managed to take so long to finally make it over here.”

“Well, you’re welcome to drop by anytime.” Chris smiled genuinely at him, and Jensen couldn’t help thinking that he’d just made another friend, and it made him glad. Chris then interrogated him briefly about his tastes in beer and in short order decided that a Sam Adams was the only appropriate choice for marking the occasion. Jensen drank deeply from his pint and hummed in approval as the foamy drink slid nice and cool and smooth down his throat. He decided then that he would make much more of an effort to visit this place, as long as he could work it around his studying. Or, he thought, as he remembered the laptop in his bag beside him, maybe he could find a way to combine the two. Better than staying holed up alone in his and Danni’s apartment, right?

Jensen was just finishing his beer when Danneel showed up to start her shift. She squealed loudly when she saw him and immediately rushed around the bar to squeeze him in a tight hug. Jensen just laughed and let himself absorb some of her delight, letting more and more of the old hurt and anger that Tom had brought into his life just fade away. When Danni released him from her death grip, Chris was there with three shot glasses of tequila and a smile.

“To quote Aristotle,” he started with a wink at Jensen, “‘Law is reason free from passion.’ Well, I say, fuck that. Here’s to passion free from reason, law notwithstanding.”

“Hear hear!” Danneel agreed with a full smile as she held up her drink, her eyes glittering with happiness.

Jensen raised his glass and clinked it against the others.

“And here’s to friends, both old and new. Cheers!” With a nod to Chris, he threw back his drink and slammed the empty glass back to the counter. He licked the traces of alcohol from his lips, then placed a smacking kiss to Danneel’s forehead.

“Alright now, get to work, slacker.” He grinned at her, even as she slapped him in mock offense on the shoulder. She rolled her eyes but headed back behind the counter to start helping Chris. Jensen smiled again as he watched them for a moment, then grabbed for his bag to rummage for one of his books, intent on getting some studying done. He had one of the best friends a man could ask for, and he seemed to be on the right track to making more. He was in the final stretch of making his teenage dream a reality. He’d met an amazing guy who he hoped to run into again, and soon. Even as he settled in for a night of reading about Subject Matter Jurisdiction, he realized life was pretty damn good right now, and he wasn’t about to let one stupid prick ruin it for him. Time to show the world how valuable Jensen Ackles could be.


	4. Chapter 4

It was another two weeks before Jensen saw Jared again. Not for a lack of trying, though. Whenever he managed to get to campus a little early on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, he tried snagging one of the benches just outside the staff lounge, hoping to catch Jared on his way to grab a coffee. He usually just sat and caught up on his reading for class, occasionally glancing around furtively to make sure he didn’t miss any possible Jared sighting. He’d even been tempted a couple times to just sneak into the room and see if the coffee was as good as Jared had claimed, but he never quite worked up the courage.

Jensen didn’t have a very good explanation for  _ why _ he was so stuck on Jared. They’d probably only spent less than ten minutes in each other’s company that first day, but something about the man had Jensen thinking about him whenever he wasn’t too busy studying or hanging out with Danneel and Chris. And more and more lately he’d started to feel a little like a third wheel around his two friends anyway; he was convinced that, any day now, they’d pull their heads out of their asses and finally realize they liked each other. He was happy for them (or he would be, if they’d just get together already), and he absolutely understood, but it did get a little lonely when his best friend from forever found someone else to occupy her mind. Especially when that someone was, really, the only other friend he’d made since coming to Harvard.

One lucky Friday though, as he was studying for his first exam on what he’d come to think of as  _ his _ bench, he glanced up from a section about  _ habeas corpus _ to see a figure that was immediately familiar, as though his brain had indelibly imprinted Jared’s every physical characteristic upon his memory. Jensen quickly tucked his book into his backpack and stood to intercept Jared before he could slip away.

“Jared! Hey!”

Jared startled slightly as he looked around for who was calling him, but his face broke into a huge grin when he spotted Jensen.

“Jensen, hi!” In just a few short strides, Jared was right next to Jensen outside the entrance to the staff lounge. He leaned casually against the wall right beside the door. “How are you? Have your classes gotten any better? I seem to remember you got off to a bit of a rough start.”

Jensen couldn’t keep the smile from his face. He almost felt pathetic at how happy he was to be talking to Jared again, but he really didn’t care.

“I’ve been pretty good, actually! And it really wasn’t my classes that were bad, though they’ve definitely been tough. I’ve got my first exam next period.” 

“Oh yeah? Well, good luck on it. I’m sure you’ll do great,” Jared assured him. His smile turned into a slight frown of confusion then. “But if it wasn’t your classes that were the problem… what was? Has that gotten better?”

Jensen’s smile impossibly brightened at Jared’s continued concern. Also, this was the opportunity Jensen had waited weeks for.

“Uh, actually…” he looked at his feet, suddenly feeling a bit shy, “I was wondering… On the first day of classes, when you helped me find the lecture hall? You mentioned the coffee here, and I was hoping…” He trailed off as he glanced at the door to the staff lounge, then looked up to meet Jared’s color-changing eyes.

“Oh!” Jared’s face lit up as he understood what Jensen was trying to say. “Absolutely! Yeah, come on in!” Jared swung open the door and ushered Jensen in, quietly closing the door behind them and striding over to the coffee machine in the corner.

“Welcome to the staff lounge, home of the best coffee on campus.” Jared grinned at Jensen as he showed off the little coffee station. There was, of course, the large pot of coffee, still nearly full, and a whole myriad of assorted creamers, as well as the usual sugar, and even some hot cocoa to mix in. There was a small pyramid of real mugs, and a stack of disposable travel cups, too. There were several used mugs sitting in the little sink that completed the setup.

“How do you like it?”

Jensen blinked over at Jared and repeated the question in his head. He blushed a little as he answered, slightly mortified that his first thought had  _ not _ been about coffee.

“Uh, black is fine with me, thank you.”

“Excellent choice,” Jared praised as he filled two travel mugs and affixed their covers in place. He handed Jensen his, then walked them over to one of the small tables nearby. Jensen took a seat next to him and wrapped his hands around the warm cardboard.

“I swear,” Jared continued, “half the reason I became a T.A. in the first place was because I’d heard such amazing things about the coffee in here.” He took his cover back off his cup and blew over the surface of the steaming liquid then took a small sip.

“Mmm. Mhm, that’s it. I don’t regret it one single bit,” he laughed.

Jensen smiled across the table at Jared, so in his element, today wearing a v-neck sweater in a soft blue that really did amazing things for his eyes. Jensen took a tentative sip of his own coffee and couldn’t stop his pleased moan at the full, rich flavor.

“Yeah?” Jared grinned happily at him. “Told ya so.”

Taking another drink from his own cup, Jared eyed Jensen over the now replaced lid.

“So. You wanna tell me about what it is that made your first day so rough?”

Jensen looked into Jared’s kind eyes, took a deep breath, and dove right into telling his story, starting back at the very beginning when he and Tom first started dating, and ending with that day in the parking lot when he’d seen Tom macking on his new girlfriend. Jared was an attentive listener, responding appropriately in all the right places, and by the end of Jensen’s saga, he was nearly as upset as Jensen had been.

“ _ What _ ? You mean, he broke up with you because he didn’t think he could be ‘out’ in law school… and  _ then _ he goes and gets a girlfriend? God.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I mean, it’s one thing to stay in the closet. But to go even  _ further  _ into the closet? Pretty soon he’ll be in Narnia for fuck’s sake.”

Jensen just nodded in agreement.

“I know, right? If I wasn’t still so pissed about the misery he caused me, I’d almost feel bad for him.” Jensen bit his lower lip and looked off to the side, staring blankly at the tree outside the window. He jumped a little, slightly shocked when he felt something warm covering the hand he still had wrapped around his coffee. He glanced up at Jared in surprise when he realized it was Jared, reaching across the table to gently cup his hand in his own. Jared was gazing back at him, empathy apparent in his eyes.

“I can’t even imagine. God, to be with someone for so long, just to have them take it all away because they’re too afraid of their own skin.” Jared gave Jensen’s hand a little squeeze before he pulled away and leaned back again in his seat. Then he was fixing Jensen with a hard look.

“You know he’s an idiot, right? For letting you go?”

Jensen laughed, self-deprecating, but relieved.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. Still hurts sometimes though. Which I really hate, actually, but can’t seem to help, ya know?”

“Yeah, totally.” Jared sighed, then his whole body jerked as he caught sight of something over Jensen’s shoulder.

“Shit! Jen, your class!”

Jensen glanced at his wristwatch.

“Oh,  _ fuck _ !” He was over ten minutes late for his first class, and his first exam. “Shit!” He looked over at Jared, who was scrambling to his feet, absolutely appalled. “Jared, what do I do?”

Jared gave him a sympathetic look as Jensen also hurried to gather his belongings.

“Well, I can walk you to your class, see if I can convince Professor Rhodes to let you in, and still take the exam. If not, she  _ might _ let you retake it at a later date. Shit, Jensen, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize...!”

Jensen touched Jared’s bicep lightly as they rushed out of the room and towards Jensen’s lecture hall.

“It’s not your fault, man. We both lost track of time.” He shuffled his feet just as they reached the classroom.

“Hey Jared?”

“Yeah Jen?”

“Losing track of time and all… I had a lot of fun hanging out with you today, and I, um…” He looked up at Jared and, seeing the hope written all over his face, went for broke. “Can I get your number?”

“Hell yeah!”

Jensen hardly even remembered taking the exam (“Only because I can’t say no to that stupidly handsome face of yours, Mr. Padalecki,” Professor Rhodes had said), because he had Jared’s number programmed in his phone, and he was on cloud nine. Not even Tom’s presence in all of his classes that day could touch Jensen’s good mood.

 

* _A few days before Halloween..._ *

 

“...so you guys have been talking ever since. But… that’s it? How is that even possible?”

Jensen rolled his eyes at his best friend, thankful she couldn’t see it as he continued digging through his closet. Not finding anything new jumping out at him, he turned back towards the room with a sigh, grabbing his glass off the ledge of the window and taking a sip before answering Danneel.

“Yeah, Danni, that’s it. You  _ know _ that’s it. I mean, I really like him. And after what happened with Tom… I think I’d rather take it slow in the beginning rather than rush into something I’m going to regret.”

Danneel was sprawled on her back, upside down on top of his bed, and Chris was sitting upright on the end of it. They were supposed to be helping Jensen pick out a costume for the Halloween party they’d all be attending that weekend, but they’d mainly just been drinking wine and grilling him on his current relationship status with Jared.

Not that Jensen had anything to report. Not much had really happened between them since that morning they’d first shared coffee together. They’d started texting each other nearly constantly, and they still managed to grab coffee on the occasional weekday morning, but they’d both been so busy otherwise (Jensen with his classes and Jared with an extra heavy workload as Prof. Beaver took on more cases; and then it was midterms, a busy time for everyone at the school) that there had been no advancement in their relationship beyond a budding friendship.

Which Jensen was okay with, really. But he’d still felt a thrill of pure excitement when Jared had asked if he was planning on attending this particular Halloween bash, and, upon finding out that Jensen hadn’t even heard of it, immediately invited him to meet him there. He’d extended the invitation to Danneel and Chris too (who had been dating for about a month now); Jared hadn’t met them yet, but Jensen still talked about them a lot, and Jensen thought it was pretty sweet that he’d thought of them, too. But their inclusion also made it feel like the occassion still couldn’t qualify as a date, which was a little disheartening, but Jensen refused to let it bring him down. With their busy lives, maybe baby steps were the only way they could continue to move forward. And Jensen was  _ pretty _ sure they both wanted to move forward, but they hadn’t exactly talked about it either.

Jensen replaced his wine on the windowsill and then pivoted over the small section of open floor, dropping heavily to the mattress onto his back next to Danneel.

“God,” he moaned in frustration, “I don’t even know for sure that he likes me  _ that way _ . And I feel like such a fucking fifth grader when I say that, but…” he trailed off and gestured vaguely in the air above him before dropping his hands back to his sides. “I’m just not really sure what to do.”

Danneel twisted so she could switch to laying on her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows. She reached over and drunkenly patted Jensen’s shoulder, ever the sympathetic best friend. Chris just huffed in annoyance and rose from the bed, stalking over to the closet.

“Well, if you’re too chicken-shit to figure it out – ”

“Christian!” Danneel admonished, though it sounded more like, “Chrissshan!”

“– Okay, if you’re too  _ unsure _ ,” Chris continued, “you need to do something that will push  _ him _ to make a move.”

Chris started rifling through Jensen’s clothes, pushing each item on its hangar across the rod like he was using an abacus or something.

“You need… I dunno, man. What’s a guy’s version of ‘slutty’?”

Danneel gasped loudly beside him.

“Oh my god. Jensen, do you remember…?”

Yes, Jensen did, in fact, remember, knowing immediately what Danneel had thought of – and that was  _ absolutely _ not happening.

“No. Not happening. Absolutely not. No.”

“But Jensen, it’s  _ perfect _ ,” she whined prettily, pouting at him and giving him her best doe eyes.

“That was for a  _ bet _ . A one and done deal.  _ No. _ ”

Danneel pouted a few more moments, but when Jensen showed no sign of yielding, she adopted a new tactic. Her eyes gleamed with a mischief that frightened Jensen more than any horror film ever had.

“Christian, dear… Dig in the back of Jenny’s closet, see if you can’t find a brown grocery bag, probably with a bright pink plastic bag inside that.”

Jensen clapped both his hands over his forehead, knowing exactly what Danneel wanted her boyfriend to find, and knowing that he would probably find it.  _ Should never have let her convince me to keep that damn thing, let alone bring it with me to law school. Stupid, stupid, stupid… _

“Oh, christ on a cracker. This is  _ yours _ , Jensen?” Yup, Chris had found it, alright.

Jensen lifted one hand and peered at Chris through one half-opened eye. He had taken the costume out of its bag and was holding it up to stare at it in all its pink satin and feathery glory.

“Why… how…” Apparently the fact that Jensen had a pink bunny costume that looked like women's lingerie hidden in his closet had rendered Chris speechless. 

Jensen sat up on the bed and braced himself for the fallout. He searched for the right words, but none seemed like they’d do the story justice, so he settled on, “Dude. I’m from  _ L.A. _ ,” like that could explain anything.

“Well, yeah, but…  _ why _ ?”

Jensen sighed.

“There was a bet. I ended up wearing that. It’s not actually that amusing a story. Now, can we please get back to trying to find an  _ actual  _ costume that I can wear?”

“Aw, don’t be that way, Jen!” Danneel unfolded herself unsteadily from the bed, bracing herself on Jensen for support and diving into the pink bag to pull out the matching headband with bunny ears, the pair of hot pink nylons, and the high-heeled shoes that Jensen had had to get custom made to fit him. Chris caught sight of the accessories and stared for two blinks of an eye before breaking down into a fit of giggles. He still held onto the main piece of the outfit, but he nearly doubled over with laughter, clutching his stomach. As soon as tears started rolling down his cheeks, Jensen stood up with an exaggerated huff to grab the costume from him.

“Oh, chill out, would you? It’s not  _ that _ funny,” he grumbled.

“Babe,” Danneel appealed, “think about it. It really  _ is _ perfect. You know how awesome you looked in this, and what better time to wear it than Halloween? Besides, you’re not going to find anything in your closet that will work better to get Jared’s attention.”

“Ha, that’s for damn sure,” Chris replied with a final chuckle, calmed down again to nearly his normal self, only sniffling occasionally as the tears receded. Jensen just glared at them both.

It wasn’t that he was really all that opposed to the costume itself – he had no problem with a little cross-dressing, and he really did look  _ hot _ in the outfit – it was more so the risk of wearing it that had him worried, and a little afraid. First of all, he was in  _ law school _ . Even if it was Halloween, he had no way of knowing how such a risqué costume might be received should fellow students or – god forbid – professors see him. The party was at a friend of Jared’s private residence, but even so, Jensen wasn’t sure if he should chance it. Second of all, and, admittedly, more scary a thought to Jensen… What if he did decide to wear it, and Jared totally hated it?

Jensen voiced his concerns about Jared outloud, and Danneel instantly grabbed him by both shoulders and looked him right in the eye.

“Babe, if he doesn’t love this costume, you’ll know that you’re better off, and  _ without _ wasting nearly three years on a guy who wasn’t worth it after all.”

Jensen winced at the implied Tom reference. He hated to think that there might even be the  _ slightest _ similarity between him and Jared.

“But if he  _ does _ love it… There’s no  _ way _ it won’t move you guys forward. I guaran-fucking-tee it. Either result, you’re going to be better off, you know?” She searched his face, waiting for him to see her infallible reason. He thought about it, considered all the possibilities. After a few moments, he decided he’d probably be okay either way. As for his other concerns, he really shouldn’t have to worry about a Halloween costume; they were  _ supposed _ to be a little crazy, and, as a future lawyer, he felt fully prepared to argue his case to anyone who took offense.

“Okay,  _ fine _ ,” he finally conceded. Danneel squealed, jumping up and down clapping her hands like a small child, and Chris grinned wide, his blue eyes absolutely sparkling. Jensen rolled his eyes at his friends again, but he couldn’t help the little bubble of excitement building in his stomach.  _ This might actually work. _


	5. Chapter 5

God, Jared was so nervous. He stood on the front porch of Chad’s duplex, feeling the beat of the music through the soles of his boots, the bass turned low enough to shake the entire house. He glanced down at his red plaid shirt and sandblasted jeans, another wave of uncertainty washing through him. God, could he be any more stereotypical? Showing up at a costume party dressed as a cowboy was such a stupid, clichéd, overused…

“Jared!” Genevieve snapped her fingers right in front of his face. “Stop worrying so loud! I can practically hear your thoughts, even over this commotion.”

Jared just glanced over at his tiny friend. Gen, of course, looked amazing, dressed up as a gypsy in layers upon layers of boldly colored skirts and scarves, accented by gold jingling in the stacked bangles on her wrists and about ten chains and charms hanging from her neck. A bandana in deep purple kept her long dark hair out of her face and more gold dangled from her ears in huge hoops and a few small studs.

“Have I mentioned yet how stunning you look?” he told her, mainly to distract himself and delay having to enter the house.

“Yes, you have,” she responded, hardly acknowledging the compliment - probably because she saw it for exactly the diversionary tactic it was. “And so do you. I _promise_ you, Jensen is going to be swept right off his feet.”

Gen lifted up on her tiptoes and placed her hands on either side of his face. She tilted his large black stetson out of the way so she could lay a wet kiss directly to his forehead. Jared felt his face warm slightly as she put his hat back in place and patted his cheeks. Then she let him straighten up as she landed back flat on her sandal-clad feet.

“It’s time to saddle up, cowboy. Now get in there and go get your man, okay?” Jared blushed even harder when she opened the door for him and practically pushed him inside the house. Jared did his best not to trip over the threshold - small as Gen was, she was _strong_ \- one hand coming up to keep his hat from falling off his head, the other bracing himself against the entryway wall. Gen followed right behind him, clicking the door shut and immediately disappearing into the fray. Jared just gaped after her for a moment, then he nervously scanned the rest of the room.

If anyone knew how to throw a party, it was Chad Michael Murray. The whole house was one big explosion of Halloween decorations and too-loud music, and every person in the impressive crowd had at least one drink in their hands and a smile on their face. It was a little early still, so Jared wasn’t too surprised that he didn’t spot Jensen yet. Of course, the house was huge, so he could be in any one of the many other rooms. Jared decided to head for the kitchen first though; it certainly couldn’t hurt to get a little liquid courage flowing through his system, hopefully take the edge off his nerves before he really tried finding Jensen.

Jared’s journey to the kitchen was interrupted at least five times in ten feet as he kept running into people he knew, so by the time he reached his destination, he wanted a drink due to actual thirst just as much as for the inhibition-reducing benefit of alcohol. The first sight greeting party-goers was an entire counter completely covered with bottles of various liquors and mixers; next was the dining table displaying a large bowl of bright red punch and about ten bags of chips and dishes of assorted dips and other snacks. But what Jared was looking for…

Oh.

_Oh._

_Jesus fucking christ._

Standing in line for the keg, just two people away from the tap, was Jensen. And not just Jensen, but Jensen in… Well, Jared supposed that, yes, that outfit could indeed be considered a costume, just… not usually for a man.

_Holy fucking shit._

Like a magnet, Jared felt drawn helplessly across the kitchen floor until he was standing only a couple feet behind Jensen. He was suddenly very glad for the tight fit of his jeans, as the sight of Jensen in that outfit had an immediate effect on him that may very well have been awkward in looser attire. He stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep himself from reaching out; the desire to touch was overwhelming, and Jared berated himself slightly for his apparent lack of self-control.

God, that _costume_ though. What would probably have looked ridiculous on any lesser man was absolutely _breathtaking_ – not to mention completely mouthwatering – on Jensen. In trying to figure out where to look first, Jared’s conscience got the better of him and he averted his gaze altogether, staring at his worn leather boots instead. He cleared his throat roughly, intentionally, and only lifted his eyes back up when Jensen turned and he could look him in the face instead.

“Jared!” Jensen’s face immediately flushed to match the rest of his outfit. “You made it!”

“Yeah, of course. I got a little held up in the hall, but I pretty much just got here. You, uh, you haven’t been here too long already, have you?” Jared cursed and blessed the extra three inches of height he had over Jensen; he had to look down to meet his eyes, but the angle also meant he had an even easier view of his body, too. Jared did his best to keep his eyes on Jensen’s face.

“Nah,” Jensen said as he held up his hands, empty. “Just now getting my first drink. Lost Danni and Chris to the pool table downstairs, I think.”

“Oh, okay, good.” Jared felt relieved. “Genevieve and I arrived together, but she abandoned me pretty much immediately.”

“Looks like it’s just us then, huh?” Jensen winked at Jared, and it utterly devastated him. Jared had to bite his lip to keep a moan from escaping.

“Yeah. I, uh.” Jared glanced over at the bottle-laden counter; he could hardly stand to look but not look at Jensen anymore. The man was _wrecking_ him. His traitorous eyes darted back to Jensen though when he stutteringly admitted, “I really like your costume.”

“Yeah?” Jensen smiled so brightly then, and Jared was one-hundred percent convinced the man was trying to kill him. “It’s all Danneel and Chris’ fault, but I’m glad you like it.” He gave Jared a blatant once-over, making himself blush again, but he met Jared’s eyes boldly. “I really like your outfit too.”

Jared ducked his head, pleased, and gave Jensen a shy smile.

“I already had everything in my closet, so it was pretty easy to pick out,” he admitted.

Jensen laughed, throwing his head back.

“Same with mine.”

Jared had to let that sink in for a moment.

“Wha… why? How?”

“Ugh, don’t even ask,” Jensen rolled his eyes and turned back around, at the front of the line now, to grab a shiny red cup and start filling it with the frothy beer.

“Wasn’t gonna,” was the first thing that came to Jared’s head, but it was a total lie. Of course he wanted to know the story behind how Jensen came to be wearing a bunny costume that could probably double as women’s lingerie. But for now, he finally let himself enjoy the view. Jensen slightly bent over the keg would have been appealing enough in regular clothing; the costume elevated the picture to _divine_ . The pink high heels did great things for Jensen’s hot-pink nylon-encased legs, their slight bow accentuated in a perfectly obscene way. The pink satin of the body of the outfit matched the shoes; it clung tightly to Jensen’s ass and cinched his waist, creating curves that wouldn’t otherwise exist ( _and should probably be illegal_ , Jared thought). There was a fluffy little tail right in the center of his lower back, and some matching feathery fringe around the top of the bodice, and the whole look was completed with the most adorable set of ears.

It was the ears that stopped his thoughts dead in their tracks. With as absolutely enticing as Jensen’s body was dressed up in the pretty little costume, it still didn’t compare to the man beneath it all. After the past month or so of texting and their semi-regular coffee ‘dates’, tonight he and Jensen were finally at a place where they could potentially move forward into something beyond just friendship, and Jared wanted that _so_ badly. But it wasn’t just a physical relationship he wanted. He felt he’d gotten to know Jensen well enough, and he definitely wanted the whole package. Admittedly a very, _very_ prettily wrapped package… But yeah. Knowing a bit about Jensen’s rotten history with dating made Jared all the more eager to give him more, because Jensen deserved better. He deserved the best, and Jared would do everything in his power to be that for him, so long as Jensen was equally interested and willing. Tonight was their night to find out, and to determine where they’d go from here. Jared couldn’t wait to get started.

 

***

 

Jensen _may_ have wiggled his butt a little more than absolutely necessary as he filled up a second cup of beer, but only because he relished the thought of Jared’s gaze on him. The way Jared had looked at him – like Jensen was something impossibly delicious and Jared hadn’t eaten in a week – Jensen had no more doubts about Jared’s attraction to him, and it made the whole costume worth every effort.

In a lot of ways, the experience of getting ready for and wearing the outfit reminded Jensen of his time spent as a competitive swimmer. Just like he’d done before every big meet in high school, he’d shaved his legs tonight to make sure they looked their absolute best in the shear nylons. Okay, and maybe he’d shaved a little further up his body than that too; Jensen didn’t think he could be blamed for daring to be a _little_ bit hopeful. And the revealing nature of the whole getup made him feel oddly more exposed than any of the tiny speedos he’d sported in high school, too. But something about the way Jared held him in his gaze – hungry as it was – made him feel protected and safe. Strangely enough, that feeling did nothing at all to lessen his want for the man. In fact, it only increased it.

Jensen was thankful for the padded and restrictive makeup of the crotch region of his suit, as the silky material would have been utterly ineffective at hiding his desire in any way otherwise. Especially when he stood back up and turned to hand Jared his drink.

Jared’s fingers caressed Jensen’s as he took the cup from him, and Jensen felt the heat again rise in his cheeks. He lifted his own drink to his mouth with both his hands and drank deeply, the smooth, cool liquid making its way easily down his throat. Jared chugged his entire drink in one go, tossing the empty cup into a nearby garbage can. Jensen could take a hint; he quickly finished his own drink as well and followed suit. He glanced at Jared in surprise when Jared gently grabbed him by the elbow and began steering him out of the kitchen and away from the more crowded areas of the house. They made their way down a darkened hallway, past several closed doors, and they came to a stop at the very end of it.

“You know,” Jared began, his voice a bit rough, “I lied when I said I wasn’t gonna ask you about your costume.” He dropped his arms to his sides, bringing his hands up to rest in the belt loops beside the large TEXAS buckle. He leaned against the wall behind him, looking for all the world like one of those old Marlboro ads, and Jensen couldn’t help taking one step further into his space.

“‘Course, on our way over here, I changed my mind, a little bit. So I have a new question for you, Jensen Ackles.”

Jensen clasped his hands together, only just barely keeping himself from reaching out and taking everything he wanted from the gorgeous man in front of him.

“Yeah?” he asked, breathless. He took another tiny step forward.

“Actually, two questions.” Jared reached up with one hand to grip the top of his hat, pushing it back and against the wall. Now Jensen could see his eyes, and they glittered with the strength of Jared’s emotions.

“One, how the _hell_ did I get so lucky, that you’d wear that tonight, _knowing_ that I’d see you in it? Knowing how you looked in it, what it might do to me?”

Jensen gasped loudly and took one final, confident step forward, moving so he stood right in the vee of Jared’s slightly spread legs. The feeling of Jared’s jeans through the thin material of his nylons made his whole body shudder.

“And?” He gasped again, edging on a moan, when Jared’s huge hands came up to rest on his hips and pull him all the way to him. “What was your second question?” He barely managed to get the words out as his gaze dropped to Jared’s mouth.

Jared’s hands squeezed reflexively at his waist, his thumbs brushing light as a feather over the edge of the bodice.

“Second question. Right. Uh, yeah. Can I kiss you now?”

 _"Fuck_ ,” Jensen cursed as he swooped forward to crush his lips, _finally_ , against Jared’s, “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

* _Approximately two years and seven months later...*_

 

Jared practically rushed the stage as soon as the ceremony ended, the need to hug the life out of his newly graduated boyfriend absolutely imperative. The embrace was far too brief, cut short by the arrival of a squealing Danneel. Jared smiled and stepped back to stand beside a widely grinning Chris as they watched the two best friends have their moment. Mr. and Mrs. Ackles congratulated their son in their own way, a mix of high-wattage smiles and delicately dabbed-away tears, but with genuine love and pride. Their little group got caught up in the exodus then, the flow of faculty and students sweeping them out of the crowded auditorium.

Jared hadn’t cared much for his own ceremony three years ago, but Jensen had been elected class speaker, and Jared couldn't be more proud. The whole experience was more profound as a guest, he discovered. He’d cried like a baby when Jensen received his diploma, handed to him by none other than Jared’s boss and mentor, Professor Jim Beaver.

Now they were on their way to dinner to celebrate. They’d gotten separated in the jostling mess of people; Chris and Danneel would meet them at the restaurant and were already making their way to Chris' truck, and Jensen was a little further ahead of Jared with his parents, laughing and chatting and smiling so bright. Jared took a moment to hang back, watching his boyfriend – if possible, even more stunning, more radiant than when they'd first met – and feeling his heart just swell with happiness, pride, and love.

Jared reached into his pants pocket and wrapped his hand around the small velvet bag there, tracing the shape of the ring inside with his thumb.

Jensen's hard work, all his accomplishments over the past three years… they were outstanding, but they could not compare to what he and Jared had built in that same time. Without a doubt, Jared knew they were only going to get better the longer they were together, and he fully intended to be with Jensen for the rest of his life.

Just then, he heard his name being called over the crowd.

“You comin’, Jay?”

“Yeah, Jen, I’m comin’.” Jared easily relocated his boyfriend and smiled, jogging lightly to catch up. When he reached where Jensen was standing off to the side with his parents, Jared kissed Jensen’s forehead and beamed down at him.

“Baby, have I mentioned lately how happy you make me? Because you make me really, really happy. I love you, and I am _so_ proud of you.”

Jensen blushed, as he always did whenever Jared got a little extra sentimental.

“Yeah. I love you too, Jay.” He rose up ever so slightly on the pads of his feet to plant a kiss directly to Jared’s lips, just a soft little press that held the promise of so much more.

“Now, how about we go get some steak, huh?”

Jared laughed and threw his free arm around Jensen’s shoulder, squeezing him tight.

“Hell yeah, baby.”

As they headed toward Jared’s car, he gave the ring bag one more reassuring squeeze before pulling his hand from his pocket to grab his keys instead. Excitement and the inevitable nerves warred for dominance in his stomach as he thought about his dinnertime plans. This was it, tonight was the night. He was going to make this the happiest night of Jensen's – no, of _their_ – life so far. He was going to ask Jensen to spend the rest of his life with him, and Jared knew it would be the perfect ending to the perfect day – and the perfect beginning to their happily ever after.

 

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art added on 11/17/17 as part of the 2017 round of spn_cinema. For more about it, please visit my [art masterpost](https://dancing-adrift.dreamwidth.org/16300.html). Kudos and comments are love, and appreciated as always! ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Sammie and Jen and Anna - betas, cheerleaders, motivators, supporters, and friends - without whom this fic wouldn't exist. Many thanks to the SPN_Cinema mods who were infinitely understanding and accommodating, and also to my fellow writers (and readers) who gave encouragement on twitter and LJ and kept my hopes up. Deadlines suck, but you all definitely don't! ♥
> 
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my little story. I do hope you enjoyed it!


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